Oh, my sweet little deviants… where do I even begin?
This weekend has been one long blur of hammers, cables, plaster, paint and me, of course, standing back and making sure every single one of my boys knows exactly who they’re serving. Honestly, I’ve had so many slaves in and out of my house and my dungeon that I’ve given up trying to remember their real names. Real names are for the vanilla world. I give you a name that I remember, and that’s what matters, isn’t it? My world, my rules, my name for you.
The weekend started with The Tiler. Bless him, he bought my gorgeous bathroom tiles a couple of months ago and unlike some of you flakes, actually found time to show up and fit them. Underflooring, tiling, the whole lot. Perfect job. That’s what a loyal, devoted boy does he finds ways to make himself useful around my schedule.
And just a little warning to those of you daydreaming about earning a place at my feet, never promise me something and fail to deliver. I can forgive pathetic. I can forgive useless. What I don’t forgive is broken promises. Because my apathy is far worse than any flogging, beating, or trampling you could imagine. If you let me down, you don’t get punishment you get nothing. You lose all contact with me forever. You can cry, whine, offer me money. I don’t care. My rules are simple: you commit, you deliver. No excuses.
Speaking of commitments – my first electrician let me down (yes, you know who you are and yes, you’ll never see me again). But, oh, how fortunate for me that my second electrician turned out to be an absolute gem. He turned up in his van, all eager for his session… and let’s just say his training performance was very pleasing. So much so that when I asked him to fix my dungeon electrics, not only did he go out and buy all the parts himself, but he also fixed the mistakes that the useless one left behind. That is how you impress me.
Then came The Plasterer, who smoothed every wall of my dungeon to perfection. My Designer has created some deliciously deviant wallpaper prints, and soon The Painter will be in, painting skirting boards before that wallpaper gets proudly displayed for all my victims… sorry, visitors… to admire.
And let’s not forget my Boiler Boy, who came to my rescue when my home boiler decided to pack up and die last week. A new boiler, fully fitted and working because I deserve to be warm and comfortable, don’t I?
Oh, and while all this chaos was going on, I wasn’t feeling 100%. But my darling Service Slave took care of that. He introduced me to Tim Hortons donuts (dangerously addictive, thank you very much) and treated me to an indulgent Wagamama feast. Between donuts and leftover noodles, I’m well-fuelled for all the wickedly deviant exploits I have planned this week.
So yes, my lovely little worker bees, Mistress Eve’s life is a mix of control, chaos, and absolute power. Some of you get to serve and please me. Some of you get to build my world. And one of you, well, you failed me, and you’ll never hear my voice again.
For the rest of you? The next few days are going to terrify, shock, and – let’s be honest – excite you more than you’d care to admit.
Stay useful, stay devoted… or stay gone.